A Vivid Collection of Nightmares

I closed my eyes and could hear the darkness breathing.  A thick yet delicate quiet filled the room and I waited for it to break.  Suddenly, it shattered.   I was ripped from slumber by my own scream.   Terror filled my lungs as the darkness began to laugh.  A winter’s chill filled my sweat covered body.  That’s when it happened.  I opened my eyes.  The beast was smiling at me.   Slowly, he turned to dust.  A box of shadows opened only as the night swallows day.  The monsters lie in wait.  In a blink, the light returned.  I sat up and welcomed the familiar of morning.  What happened?  It was all just a bad dream.

It was all just a nightmare. When I was very young, I began having night terrors. My mother would be awakened to me screaming.  Once at my bedside she would to find me with my eyes wide open, flailing. I looked awake but I was deep in dream. She tried to comfort me, to wake me, but nothing worked.  Finally I would settle and when morning came she would ask me if I had a bad dream.  My response shocked her. I said, “What dream Mommy?”

Most who suffer from night terrors never remember them. For me, the night terrors faded with age and were replaced with incredibly intense nightmares and dreams. Nightly they continue to visit me and I can remember almost every vivid detail.

Recently, I had a fever.  As I entered dream land I found myself walking down what seemed to be a familiar street but I have never seen it. I approached a group of men wearing animal masks.  The masks looked like foxes and were brown. The sidewalk was tan and broken. They began chasing me. I could feel the wind as I ran.  Finally, I came upon a hotel but I couldn’t find anyone to help me.  I ran to an elevator unlike any elevator I have ever seen. I locked it from the inside. Suddenly I heard someone screaming, begging me to let her in. I didn’t. I started pushing random floors.  I know I had a room on the 11^th floor but for some reason pushed the 245^th.    A smiling man entered the elevator and made small talk.  I remember feeling a mix of terror and slight calm as a glimmer of normal seemed to enter this world of lunacy.  I exited on the 11^th floor.  Then I woke up.

As my eyes opened, I inhaled deeply and began connecting the puzzle pieces.  Nightmares are so familiar to me they barely scare me anymore. I enjoy trying to find the meaning and believe even the most terrifying dreams can connect back to reality.  I tried to decide what I was running from and marveled at the details that filled my memory.  Even as I write this I can remember exactly what it felt like to be immersed in that dream and so many that have filled my life.

Nightmares are collection of vivid paintings striving to grab your attention.  As you open the door to the gallery of your psyche the pictures you find may terrify you but don’t look away.  Whether you are chased or buried, drowned or attacked, pay attention to how the dream ends.  Did you escape?  Did you find a solution?  Did you fall but not land?  Your mind is trying to shake you awake and is scaring you into taking action.

Wake, breathe and remember it was all just a bad dream. Look around and then look inside.  Find the pieces and ask yourself, why?  Now change what you can and find peace with the rest. It is here that you will find the calm seas in your dreams.